This is going to be a recurring theme. I can't go more than 15 minutes without thinking about how much I hate fat people. I hate fat people almost as much as I hate the people who think it's okay to be fat. The reasons for this are numerous and reasonable; I will expound upon them - at length - at a later date.
For now, I just want to say that if you are a stand up comedian on Comedy Central, and you've got your own half hour special:
-Come up with some jokes that don't involve talking about how fat you are.
-Don't have them shoot the ENTIRE FUCKING THING in soft focus. Are you Barbara Walters? No? Then try working out occasionally, maybe those self-esteem issues will go the way of your turkey neck fat.
Edit: Brevity apparently translates to hating, upon re-reading of the first paragraph of this post. When I talk about hating fat people, I mean the truly obese motherfuckers; the unhealthy assholes that are placing a super unnecessary burden on our health care system, not to mention our chairs.
Having a few extra rolls is cool. Not everyone can be Brangelina, or should be. Every human body is awkward...a few extra curves are likely to add a little character more than anything else. But being so fat you need to have a hole cut in the side of your house so they can take you to the hospital to die is just fucking disgusting. It's not something you can blame on genetics. These people are awful wastes of carbon. Euthanasia comes to mind.
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